


Indeterminate Territory

by pollybywater



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-22
Updated: 2004-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-18 14:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pollybywater/pseuds/pollybywater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>'Indeterminate Territory' is actually a series of 6 stories written as challenge responses for Sentinel_Thursday on Live Journal.  I have retained the individual ficlet titles and pertinent challenges within the text.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Indeterminate Territory

**Author's Note:**

> 'Indeterminate Territory' is actually a series of 6 stories written as challenge responses for Sentinel_Thursday on Live Journal. I have retained the individual ficlet titles and pertinent challenges within the text.

  


'If You Want Something Done Right...'  
Challenge #45 - 'Three Monkeys'

*

She put the picture down and set her jaw.

Intolerable, the way those pigs kept involving her baby in their sordid little power trips. Blair was meant for better things. He was too spiritual, too gentle a soul to continue associating with jack-booted thugs like Jim Ellison and Simon Banks.

This was the last straw. Look at her baby, so obviously sickened by what he was seeing.

Intolerable.

Naomi Sandburg crossed to her closet and pulled out her suitcase.

There had to be something she could do to get her baby away from the Cascade PD.

Away from Jim Ellison.

***

'Indeterminate Territory'  
Challenge #46 - grey area

*

"Joel, wait a minute," Jim said quietly as they exited the elevator and neared the loft door.

"Jim, you aren't supposed to be up long."

"Please, Joel," Jim interrupted, trying to hear what Naomi Sandburg was saying. Readjusting his crutches, he grimaced at his already sore underarms and ruthlessly ignored the throbbing pain from the gunshot wound in his leg.

Joel rolled his eyes, but complied, halting their forward momentum so Jim could listen. Naomi was on the phone; Jim could tell that much right away. He tilted his head and focused his hearing unconsciously, letting it sharpen until he could hear both sides of the conversation.

"I don't care, Sid. I never promised you that Blair would go along with it. Just give it some time, I'm sure he'll come around."

 _"Naomi, it won't matter if he does! He's ruined his credibility! That press conference-"_

"Doesn't matter to me. It did what I needed it to do, and so did you, Sid. You owed me, remember?"

 _"Well, now we're even, Naomi. Do me a favor and lose my number."_

A sharp click signaled the end of the phone call, but a series of beeps signaled the fact that Naomi was placing another call. Joel shifted restively beside Jim, and Jim gave him a desperate look.

"Just a few more minutes."

"What are you hearing?" Joel whispered almost soundlessly. Jim gave him a questioning eyebrow and watched Joel shrug. "Come on, Jim, you didn't seriously expect me to believe Blair told the truth at that press conference, did you? I know you both too well."

Joel's steadfast faith made Jim's throat ache. Too bad he hadn't had that much faith in Blair, but what was done was done, and obviously, his secret couldn't be completely put back in the box.

"Naomi's on the phone."

Joel nodded, allowing a near-silent sigh as Jim's attention turned back towards the inside of the loft.

 _"Hello."_

"Charlie?"

 _"Naomi! What's going on? I saw Blair on TV!"_

"I did it, Charlie! I've finally gotten my baby away from those pigs!"

 _"Naomi, what did you do?"_

Charlie Spring didn't sound too thrilled, Jim thought, pushing down his own growing fury. Just what *had* Naomi done?

"I told you. I had to do it, Charlie. He wouldn't leave voluntarily, so I fixed it where he *has* to leave. My baby's finally going to be free of this violent lifestyle."

 _"Naomi?"_

"It was so easy, Charlie. I released Blair's dissertation because I knew Jim Ellison would fail Blair, and I was right. Once Jim believed Blair had betrayed him-"

 _"You're telling me you set up your own son? You've ruined his life!"_

"I SAVED his life, Charlie!"

There was a long silence. Jim could practically see the bulldog expression on the little psychic's face. It was better than thinking about what his own face must look like. He squeezed his eyes shut against the way they suddenly burned and prickled.

 _"But, Naomi, your karmic debt-"_

"Fuck my karma. If you want to worry about somebody's karma, worry about Jim Ellison's," she hissed, and Jim felt himself pale at the hatred in her voice.

How was it he'd never seen how Naomi Sandburg really felt? Then he realized he *had* seen it, the very first time she'd come to the PD. She hadn't bothered to hide her disdain then, and he should have realized from the way she treated Blair just how possessive she was. He should have realized- should have-

 _"What's Blair going to do?"_ Charlie asked unhappily, drawing Jim's attention back to the conversation.

Naomi gave that tinkling little laugh that Jim used to think was so charming, and he wasn't surprised to find it nauseated him now.

"He's going to come home with me, of course. There's nothing left for him here."

 _"This isn't right, Naomi."_

"I'm his mother, and I say it is."

 _"If Blair finds out-"_

"He won't. We'll see you soon, Charlie."

Naomi hung up the phone. Jim listened to her start a pot of tea, and then grimly reset his hearing. Leaning against the wall for support, he tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling, pain wracking him from head to toe as he tried to decide what to do.

What could he do?

Naomi was going to take Blair away, and even if he told Blair what he'd heard-

No, Blair would never believe him, not after what had happened. Blair would never turn against Perfect Mother Naomi with her floaty sheer dresses and her bright prattling about energy and friendship. Maybe if he hadn't fucked Blair over so badly himself, with his accusations and his dark suspicions...

"Jim? You all right?"

Shit, he'd almost forgotten Joel was standing there.

"No. No, Joel, I'm not all right," he muttered in a rare moment of weakness, wishing with all his heart that he had Blair with him right now to lean on... but he'd left Blair at the hospital, sitting with Megan.

"Tell me what Naomi said," Joel ordered, and Jim dipped his head to meet an unexpectedly hard stare. His mouth worked, the intended brush-off sticking in his throat like a fishbone.

"Report, Detective," Joel Taggart demanded sternly, and Jim's spine stiffened involuntarily as he responded to that tone.

"She set Blair up. She sent the dissertation in deliberately, to ruin his career and get him away from the Cascade PD."

Joel Taggart's eyes frosted over.

"I wondered. That woman. I always thought there was- Never mind." Joel audibly ground his teeth, biting back whatever it was he'd started to say. "Are you going to let her manipulate you and Blair like that?"

The question struck Jim like a harsh sea wind, blowing away the dull gray haze he'd been in for over a week- something he realized now had been shock. He felt his own jaw firm up, and met Joel's gaze squarely as something settled inside.

"No, sir, I am not."

"That's more like it," Joel replied with an approving nod, turning Jim back towards the elevator. "Come on, we need to talk to Simon. We've got some plans to make."

***

'Choices'  
Challenge #47 - the last straw

*

"Jack? You, uh, wanted to see me?"

"Blair, come in!"

Jack Kelso watched as his young friend entered then closed the office door. Sharp eyes took in the slightly hunched shoulders, pale skin, and drawn facial features that revealed Blair's distress to the people who knew him.

And Jack Kelso did know Blair Sandburg; knew him quite well. Knew what Blair's long years of research had involved, knew that Blair had lied at that press conference, and knew that Blair was reaching some kind of breaking point.

"How are you?" He asked quietly while Blair sat.

"I'm fine- No. I'm not doing too great," Blair admitted, avoiding Jack's gaze. Jack sighed.

"No, I don't suppose you are. Look at me, Blair."

Slowly, so slowly, Blair lifted his head and met Jack's eyes. The pain buried in those deep blue eyes almost took Jack's breath.

"I'm not going to second-guess your decision, and I'll never bring it up again unless you want to talk about it. What you did was one of the bravest things I've ever seen, and I'm proud to call you my friend."

Blair turned away, but not before Jack caught the sudden glitter of tears. Blair took a deep, hitching breath, then another smoother one before turning back towards Jack, who was gratified to note that Blair seemed a bit more relaxed than when he'd come in.

"Thank you," Blair said simply, and Jack nodded.

They stared at each other for a moment; two men who understood too much about sacrifice, expedience and pragmatism.

"Got any plans?" Jack eventually asked, and watched Blair shrug.

"Naomi wants me to go with her."

"And leave Cascade? Is that what you want to do?"

"I don't have a lot of choices here, Jack. This whole thing's been- the press conference was just the last straw." Blair reached up to rub at his temples, and Jack grimaced in sympathy.

"Headache?"

"For days, man."

"Take anything?"

Blair snorted out a short laugh that sounded more than a little bitter.

"Nothing helps."

"Been there," Jack commiserated, making up his mind about something he'd been considering since the press conference. He'd known from the moment he heard Blair's statement that Blair was going to be finished at Rainier, and he wanted to give his friend an alternative.

"I'm going to Russia. My next book is about the American counterintelligence efforts in Afghanistan that occurred before the Soviet invasion in '79."

Blair shot him a wry grin.

"Sounds like another bestseller, Jack."

"'Read by the few and bought by many'," Jack quoted himself with matching irony, and they shared a moment of genuine amusement. "Come with me, Blair. I could use your help. I'm going to need a research assistant, somebody who can help me retrieve and review documentation. I know you can speak and read a little Russian."

"Very little," Blair said, but his absent tone and serious expression indicated to Jack that he was giving the offer some real thought. "The Russian government-"

"Invited me," Jack interrupted. "The CIA backed certain factions within the Mujahedeen in an effort to draw the USSR into invading Afghanistan, and the Russians want the world to know." He watched with pleased relief as a spark of interest lit Blair's eyes. "What do you say?"

"Let me think about it. When do you leave?"

"Ten days."

Blair rose.

"I'll let you know in a couple of days, then." He held out his hand to Jack, who shook it firmly. "Either way, Jack, thank you," Blair added softly.

Jack Kelso smiled at his friend, recognizing what Blair was thanking him for.

"You're welcome, Blair. Either way," he echoed, and hoped he wasn't fooling himself by thinking Blair's step looked a bit lighter on the way out.

***

'Coercion'  
Challenge #48 - Proverbs

*

"That was the chief," Simon said, hanging up the phone and easing himself back into a more comfortable position. It was only the second day he'd been allowed out of his hospital bed and into a chair. If he were lucky he'd be discharged tomorrow, and Simon Banks knew very well exactly how lucky he was just to be alive.

He looked up at his friend, and caught the intense, focused concern on Jim's face as the sentinel watched his movements.

"Ellison, will you quit worrying? I'm going to be fine."

"We're all going to be fine," Joel put in with a gentle pat to Jim's shoulder. "We can make this work. What did the chief say?"

"Thanks to Jim's little demonstration earlier, he's willing to give a statement to the press that will confirm that Blair was acting on behalf of the department when he said his thesis was a fraud, and if Blair will take firearms training and go to the Academy we can offer him a place in Major Crime as a detective."

"I don't know if Blair will go along with it." Jim's voice was almost a whisper as he turned his attention to the floor.

"You'll never know if you don't give him the choice," Joel pointed out, exchanging a worried look with Simon that passed over Jim's head.

There was a knock at the door, which swung open to reveal an unexpected visitor. Charlie Spring poked his head in, his expression anxious and strained at it fixed on Jim.

"There you are, Detective. We need to talk," he told Jim, then nodded politely at Simon. "Captain Banks."

"Come on in, Charlie. There's nothing you can't say in front of Simon and Joel," Jim said tiredly. Charlie frowned but entered the room; nervously taking in Jim's recently acquired cane as well as Simon's bandages.

"Charlie Spring, psychic," he said, briskly shaking Joel's hand. "I don't think we met last time I was in town. Looks like the Cascade PD rehabilitation society in here. Where's Blair? Wait, that doesn't matter right now. Look, Detective Ellison, I know something you need to know. Did you know there are four kinds of people? Three kinds to be cultivated and one to be avoided. No, wait. Three to be avoided and one to be cultivated. That's it. People who don't know that they don't know, people who know that they don't know, those who don't know that they know, and you cultivate the ones who know that they know. Arab proverb. And I know what I know. I know about Blair and I know what Naomi did and-"

"Charlie, slow down," Jim held up a hand as the shorter man rambled on frenetically, getting more wound up by the second. "It's okay. Blair is taking another injured detective home and he won't be back for a while... and we know what Naomi did, and why."

"Who's the psychic here, you or me? You mean you- oh, wait. Wow. It _is_ true, you really are a- a- what is it called, a-"

"A sentinel. Charlie, what are you on?" An exasperated Jim asked and interrupted the splutter. Charlie gave him a dirty look but quieted, visibly taking a calming breath before responding.

"Okay. You know. That's good. Because I was going to tell you. She may be able to live with this on her conscience, but I can't. You and Blair helped me straighten myself out at a time when I was in danger of losing my gift. I'm not going to risk it again. I'm willing to tell Blair what Naomi said to me on the phone. That's why I'm here."

"That's the one thing we're trying to avoid," Simon said quietly, drawing Charlie's attention. "Blair would be devastated if he found out his mother deliberately released his dissertation just to separate him from Jim."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. But he can't go with her. I've seen- I got a hit right after I talked to Naomi- you know, I told you about those. It'll be bad news if he goes with her. Bad for him and bad for you, Detective."

Jim gave the psychic a surprisingly indulgent grin.

"I don't need to see the future to know that's true, Charlie, but thanks for the warning."

"No, you don't get it. I mean, bad as in d-e-a-d bad. Kick the bucket, buy the farm-"

"We get it!" Joel burst out as Jim became progressively paler. "We get it, okay?"

"So, you gotta get Blair to stay in Cascade. He needs to stay here," Charlie insisted doggedly.

"We have a plan, if we can just keep Naomi from convincing Blair to leave with her before all the details are arranged," Simon said to Charlie's nod of comprehension.

"You leave Naomi to me. I'll make sure she goes along with whatever you're planning."

"How are you going to do that?" Joel wondered curiously, and Charlie gave them all a grim smile.

"I'm going to tell her that I've told you all the truth, and I'll tell Blair next if she doesn't back off and let him live his own life. She'll say he won't believe me over her, but I have an ace in the hole."

Charlie Spring reached into his jacket pocket and fished out a mini-cassette tape.

"The whole conversation, gentlemen... and this is just a copy."

***

'Revelations'  
Challenge #48 - proverbs

*

"Hi Jim!"

Jim actually felt his stomach roll as Naomi sang out her greeting. From directly behind him Joel snorted out a subvocal sound of derision. It was too quiet for Naomi to have heard... but Jim did, and had to work to hide a sudden smirk.

"Naomi."

"Blair called. He's staying the night with that nice Megan Connor. He said he didn't feel right about leaving her alone her first night out of the hospital. Such a good boy, my Blair," Naomi virtually warbled. As she turned from the refrigerator and caught sight of Joel, that bright facade darkened a bit. "Oh, Detective Taggart, how kind of you to see Jim home. You should have called me, Jim. I would have picked you up."

Hoping rather desperately that he was misreading the innuendo he could hear in Naomi's voice, Jim was relieved when Charlie Spring stepped out from behind Joel.

"Charlie! What are you- what a lovely surprise!" Naomi floated towards them in her gauzy caftan, hands outstretched. To a man, they all stepped towards the living area and away from her grasp. "What's going on?" She asked suspiciously.

Jim focused briefly on her heartbeat, which had taken up a sudden, rapid rhythm, and knew she realized she was busted.

"Good question, Naomi. Why don't you tell us?" Jim replied, finally allowing the slow-burning anger he'd been containing for days to enter his voice. "Charlie's had an interesting story to tell."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

But Naomi was lying. Jim could hear it.

"I think you do know," he said grimly before a hand on his arm asked him to fall silent. He watched with no little astonishment as Charlie Spring stalked around him and squared off against Naomi's taller figure.

"I told them everything, Naomi. How you intentionally sent Blair's dissertation to your publisher friend. I even told them why."

"Oh, Charlie, I was afraid your visions would send you over the edge someday, but I didn't think-"

"Stuff it, Naomi," Charlie replied bluntly. "I recorded the whole thing. You know I tape my calls, in case it's a client. I bet you thought I was so pussy-whipped that I'd be willing to let this go. You were wrong. I've already played the tape for Jim, Simon, and Joel, and I'll be playing it for Blair as soon as I see him."

Jim's hand shot out and stopped Naomi's flattened palm scant inches from connecting with Charlie's face.

"I don't think you want to commit assault in front of two police detectives, Naomi."

"You son of a bitch!"

"Uh, no, I guess that would be me," Blair said, standing in the still-open door, his face pained as he looked at Naomi. Jim winced, ignoring Joel's accusatory 'why didn't you know he was there' glance and fixing on Blair, whose expression rapidly hardened to a remarkable degree.

Jim dropped Naomi's hand and barely noticed Charlie pulling him and Joel aside, leaving Naomi to stand alone.

"Blair. Sweetie, I don't know what you think you heard but-"

"I heard enough, Naomi." Blair shook his head slightly. "I wondered, you know. I really wanted to be wrong, but we both know this isn't the first time you've fucked up my life because it wasn't following your agenda."

"Blair, that's not true! Everything I've done has been for you, baby!"

"I haven't been your baby for a very long time." Blair looked away from Naomi, his gaze apologetic as it reluctantly met Jim's. "I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry for bringing this down on your head. I should have known. It was just a matter of time before it all fell apart. It always falls apart."

He turned to leave, and Jim shook off the odd paralysis that had grabbed him on seeing Blair. Naomi tried to stop him; grasping hands like pale spiders crawling over his arm. He unceremoniously brushed her off.

"Keep her out of my way," he directed towards Joel, who blocked the doorway behind his departure.

"Chief, wait!" He hobbled as fast as he could down the hall, fearfully aware that Blair was almost at the stairwell door and wasn't stopping. This was it. If he was ever going to have a chance to convince Blair not to leave Cascade, he had to act now. "Blair, please! Don't- don't leave me!"

It was, he realized much later, the only possible thing he could have said to make Blair pause.

"Jim-" Blair began, turning back to watch him, those blue eyes full of anguish and doubt as Jim approached.

"Don't leave me," he said again, dropping the cane in favor of clutching Blair's strong shoulders, feeling the tiny tremors that were escaping Blair's control. "Don't leave me," he repeated yet one more time, the only thing he could think to say. The most important thing, the only thing that mattered; what he wanted above all other things.

"'What I tell you three times is true'," Blair murmured in the kind of half-assed non sequitur that Jim had grown to love hearing over the years. He leaned his forehead against Blair's and held on tight, almost shaking himself as Blair's arms slowly crept around his waist. This, this was what he needed, what he wanted for the rest of his life, and he gasped as that knowledge forcefully shoved itself up to the front of his brain, scaring him all over again with how near he'd been- how near he was -to fucking it all up.

"I know I don't have the right to ask you to stay, but I'm asking anyway, Blair," Jim whispered and heard Blair sigh; felt the sudden resignation that rolled off him in waves.

"You still don't get it, do you, Jim. You have every right- any right where I'm concerned. Don't you know yet how much I love you?"

Blair tried to pull away on the strength of that bombshell, but Jim wouldn't let go, even more certain it would be a mistake. He slid his hands down Blair's back and held on tightly.

Blair was stiff and unyielding for a long, worrisome moment, then he sagged into Jim's body with an odd little sound that sent pure heat down Jim's spine.

"You love me love me?" Jim asked eagerly, letting Blair's weight, scent and warmth soak into him... relieved beyond measure when he felt Blair's lips twitch against the base of his throat.

"What are we, fifteen? Yeah, I love you love you."

Jim let that assurance spread through him and settle in, then moved one hand to tilt Blair's face up, promising himself that he would never forget the look in Blair's eyes; a dawning radiant joy that told him everything was going to be all right no matter what the rest of the world threw at them.

"I love you love you, too," he confessed, and watched that joy blaze bright in the instant before he kissed Blair's mouth.

***

"Finally," Joel muttered, ducking back into the loft and closing the door. Naomi glared at him furiously, which he ignored, turning instead to give Charlie Spring a surreptitious thumbs-up.

"You have no right to keep me here. I'll have your badge-"

"Blow it out your ass, Naomi," Charlie said, his tone remarkably relaxed.

"Charlie, how dare you-"

"Oh, I dare a lot, and you're going to listen to me dare more."

"I don't have to listen to you. Thanks to you, Blair knows the truth. There's nothing more you can do to hurt me," she announced dramatically, fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Gee, Naomi, martyr much? You'd better think about this. The truth is out, yes. So, what's your next move? You might consider apologizing to your son and Jim and asking them to forgive you... and hey, here's a shocking concept- you could even promise Blair you'll never meddle in his life again, and whatever he decides to do is fine with you, and you'll back him one-hundred percent. That's if you want any kind of place in your son's future," Charlie warned.

"I don't have to do anything. Blair will forgive me, he always does. I'm his mother," Naomi declared haughtily.

"I don't think it will be that easy. This time you hurt someone who matters more to Blair than his own life," Joel supplied, somberly regarding Naomi. "Just how much do you love your son, Ms. Sandburg? Enough to treat him like the strong, intelligent man he is? Enough to put his interests first?"

"Or, at least enough to pretend you do?" Charlie asked, his expression surprisingly full of pity. "You're a good actress, Naomi, you always have been. Suck it up and role-play."

Joel winced, quite sure he didn't want a mental image of Naomi Sandburg and Charlie Spring engaged in any kind of role-play.

"Whatever," Naomi said bitterly, moving over towards the balcony and looking outside. Her shoulders hunched over and she did look quite miserable, even to Joel's jaundiced eye.

"I don't want to lose Blair. He's all I have."

Charlie rolled his eyes, but his voice was gentle when he spoke.

"Then you'd better be prepared to fix this, Naomi."

***

Oh, sweet fucking heaven. That's what this was, Blair thought wildly, lost in sensation. Jim's mouth on his was so firm and mobile, teasing his lips apart for a deeper taste... A silky wet tongue stroked against his, and Blair felt the kiss burn all the way down to his toes and back up again. Heat settled at his dick, which leaped erect with the kind of speed a teenager would envy.

Fifteen, indeed, some part of his brain gibbered; a part that turned - like the rest of his brain - to mush when Jim's hand fisted in his hair.

He swayed, and Jim took a half-step forward that resulted in a pained groan, abruptly reminding him of Jim's injury. Regretfully pulling away far enough to see Jim's face, he was astonished by the full, beautiful smile Jim beamed in his direction.

Flushed, hot, needy, and struck mute by that smile, all Blair could do was blink.

"I need to lie down," Jim said.

Blair nodded. Yeah, fine, good. That sounded great. Very good idea. Horizontal Jim. Yeah, buddy.

"We need to lie down," Jim added, his grin beginning to look a bit smug in Blair's admittedly befuddled opinion. "Only one problem. There's a room full of people between us and the bed... you want to run away with me?"

"Run away?" He finally managed to croak out; abruptly reminded of the scene he'd just walked out on. "You want to run away with me?"

"Who else?" Jim asked reasonably. "How about a hotel? Or do you have to go back to Connor's?"

"Uh, no. Her mom- mom flew in to stay with her for a few days. She's fine."

"Then run away with me," Jim urged, that hand on his head practically petting him, one thumb rubbing insistent little circles on his temple. Apparently hypnotizing him, because why else would he be giving serious consideration to simply shrugging off all that crap with Naomi and the diss?

Just because Jim was touching him... well, that was a no-brainer.

Blair smiled for what seemed like the first time in weeks, and it felt good.

"Anytime, anywhere, man."

"Grab my cane and let's go," Jim ordered, favoring him with another mind-destroying smile. Blair was only too happy to comply.

***

Both Joel and Charlie were startled when Naomi threw open the balcony door and stepped outside, her expression frantic. Both men followed, grimacing when she shouted.

"They're leaving- Blair's leaving- Blair! Blair, sweetie! Wait!"

Blair was unlocking the passenger door of Jim's truck and didn't look up, but Jim did. Joel saw him stare at Naomi then touch his fingertips to his forehead, and as Blair carefully ushered Jim inside the truck, Joel understood what the little gesture meant.

So did Naomi.

"He's won," she said unhappily. Charlie grabbed her by the upper arm and shook her gently.

"Damn it, Naomi, it's not a fucking contest! Can't you just be glad for Blair that you didn't completely ruin his relationship with Jim?"

"Glad! He's not good for Blair! Look at what he's already dragged-"

Charlie shook her again, harder this time. Joel wondered briefly if he should remind the psychic about the legal definition of assault and battery in Cascade.

"Let me explain this to you in simple words, Naomi. Hear what I'm telling you! Blair and Jim are meant to be together. They will die without each other. I've seen it. Accept it and move on!"

Naomi crumpled to the balcony deck and started sobbing... and for the life of him, Joel couldn't tell if she was crying for herself or not.

***

In the interests of sparing Blair a walk through a hotel lobby that would have meant a gauntlet of prying eyes, Jim directed Blair to a clean little motel near the interstate. He waited in the truck while Blair arranged a ground floor room for them at the end of one wing, and by the time they were finally inside he'd never been so happy to see a big empty bed.

"Leg's hurting pretty bad, huh," Blair murmured. It was almost the first thing he'd said since they'd left 852, and he'd worried Jim with that unusual quiet.

Jim sat heavily on the edge of the bed, sighing in relief before looking at Blair, whose expression was altogether too uncertain for Jim's comfort. Jim nodded. His leg was hurting like hell, yes, but so was the rest of him; aching to hold Blair.

"Do me a favor and take off my shoes?" He asked hopefully, pleased when Blair's mouth quirked into a faint grin.

"I knew you had a reason for wanting me around," Blair quipped, then froze, face suddenly stricken.

"I have a million reasons for wanting you around," Jim said with firm determination, anxious to wipe that look off Blair's face. He might never gain a reputation as a great communicator, but he'd already made up his mind at the hospital days ago that he wasn't going to let words- or the lack of them -stand in his way ever again. Not where Blair was concerned. Blair was too important; something else Jim wasn't going to let himself forget.

"A million, huh."

Blair shook himself then knelt before Jim, carefully removing Jim's shoes and socks. Despite the pain in Jim's leg, that wasn't a sight he could see without being affected, and his cock twitched in agreement. He was forced to bite back a moan as those strong fingers bared his feet then gave them a gentle rub, sighing again when it was over too soon.

"Lie down with me."

"Jim-"

"Please, Blair."

Blair looked at him doubtfully and Jim put on the most pleading, pitiful, pouting expression he could manage. He knew he'd succeeded when Blair heaved a semi-exasperated sigh of his own.

"Okay. Stand up for a minute and let me pull back the bedspread."

Jim waited until Blair had toed off his own shoes then he lay down on the sheet, taking a deep breath while his muscles protested the change of position. Blair gingerly climbed in next to him, and he didn't give Blair a chance to start thinking before he pulled Blair into his arms. Again, Blair resisted initially then melted into his hold, eventually snuggling into his body.

"I said a million reasons, but they all boil down to three. I love you, I need you, and I don't want to lose you," he whispered into Blair's hair.

"I don't know how you can say that. Everything is so fucked up. I'm so fucked-"

"No, you're not. We're not, as long as you'll forgive me for being such a paranoid, suspicious bastard," Jim said, briskly interrupting Blair.

"If you'll forgive me for what Naomi-"

This time Jim silenced Blair by simply putting one hand over his mouth.

"Hey, babe, if I've learned one thing in life, it's that you can't pick your relatives or your in-laws."

Blair pulled Jim's hand down, practically spluttering.

"Babe? In-laws?"

Jim snickered, thoroughly enjoying himself. Ignoring the pain from his gunshot wound, he rolled over and blanketed Blair, smiling when Blair's breath caught in an airy moan and their bodies hardened at the contact.

Aw god, it was going to be so good between them. He'd always thought so, although for years he'd tried to avoid thinking about it, because he'd been so afraid it was never going to happen.

Fear-based responses, hell, he thought, abruptly deciding he was tired of being afraid. It was time for Jim Ellison to start going after what he wanted... 'Rangers lead the way', and all that.

Time to start leading.

He took Blair's head in his hands and drew their mouths together.

***

'Faith'  
Challenge # 50 - major crime

*

Blair watched Jim sleep, hardly able to believe that any of this was really, finally happening.

He'd have to wake up sometime, wouldn't he? He _had_ to be dreaming, because Jim couldn't possibly have said 'I love you', 'run away with me', or 'forgive me'.

He couldn't have really heard those words come out of Jim Ellison's mouth, could he? He couldn't be lying here, naked, in Jim Ellison's bed; with an equally naked Jim Ellison sprawling next to him, his belly still sticky with their mingled come.

Nah.

He was either dreaming, or hallucinating, maybe... which would make this the best fucking hallucination he'd ever had, including the time that he'd done peyote with that guy during- Well.

He might be having a flashback of some kind, Blair supposed idly, one hand absently stroking Jim's soft hair. He'd experimented in his younger and dumber days- hell, not too many people hadn't, even if his experimentation was chiefly limited to shamanic concoctions and tribal rituals.

In fact, once he thought about it, there was a good chance that even now he was sitting beside that sweat lodge near Rapid City, taking the spirit journey that had set him on the path towards seeking a sentinel.

Which would make the last... hmm, fifteen some-odd years one long, elaborate peyote dream, and give him one hell of a do-over.

"What are you thinking about?" Jim whispered, and Blair jumped a little, focusing on those pale eyes boring into his.

This had to be real. Had to be, or he would absolutely lose his mind.

"Do you ever want a do-over, Jim?"

"Aw God, Blair. Only where most of my life is concerned," Jim said, still whispering, just as he'd done.

"Most?"

"Not for the day I met you, and not for the last two hours," Jim replied, his voice firming up a bit but still very soft. "I wouldn't want to change what happened either time."

"Me either," Blair decided philosophically, humming as he let Jim urge him closer, until they were plastered together; cheek to cheek, chest to chest, thigh to thigh and legs entwined, Blair carefully arranging his to keep from putting any pressure on Jim's wound.

"What _would_ you do over?" Jim asked into Blair's ear.

"Stupid question," Blair said without heat, then sighed. "So many things, but especially Alex and writing the diss."

"The diss brought us together," Jim said, startling Blair yet again. "I'm sorry about the way it turned out, but I'm not sorry you wrote it."

"You hated the diss," Blair pointed out, far too content to really care while Jim's hands were sweeping up and down his back and shoulders. He turned his face into Jim's neck and gave it a swipe with his tongue, savoring the salt taste of Jim's skin, and found Jim's answering shiver quite gratifying.

"I built it up in my mind into something that would eventually take you away from me," Jim admitted, his tone confessional-quiet. "I let it come between us."

"No, Jim, that's not-" Interrupted by Jim licking his ear, Blair almost lost his train of thought. "You didn't- I did- we-"

"Yeah, _we_ , Sandburg. That's the way it's going to be from here on out. We," another lick "as in us," then a nip "together," and a soothing suckle of his lobe that brought Blair's nervous system to singing life.

In one of those cat-quick covert ops moves, Blair found himself flipped onto his back, Jim covering him like a warm, supple blanket.

"Your leg-" he protested, gasping when Jim rubbed against him.

"Fuck my leg," Jim said, hands in Blair's hair holding their gazes locked together. Blair had to grin, loving that determined face.

"I can do that," he said, pressing his hardening cock into the solidly muscled thigh between his legs, rewarded when Jim briefly grinned back.

"Will you do something else for me?" Jim asked, his smile fading a bit.

"Anything," Blair promised, meaning it. "I would do anything for you," he added recklessly, then winced at how absolutely sappy he sounded. Jim was smiling again, though, so he couldn't much regret saying it.

"I know you would. I really, truly get that now, Blair. What I need you to do is answer me honestly when I ask you... could you be happy staying on at Major Crime? Becoming my official partner?"

Stunned, Blair gaped up at Jim and blinked.

"But- I don't see how that could ever happen, Jim, not after-"

Jim silenced him with a kiss before drawing back, his eyes serious.

"That's not what I asked you, Chief. Forget about everything else and just answer me."

Blair didn't have to think about it. He'd admitted to himself months- hell, maybe even years ago -that he wanted nothing more than to be at Jim Ellison's side for the rest of his life. It was one of the reasons why he'd dragged his feet on finishing that damned dissertation in the first place. Academia had lost its appeal long ago, thanks to his own growing need to 'protect the tribe' with his sentinel. He gave a moment's thought to Jack Kelso's offer, then dismissed that, too.

"Yes."

"That's it? Just 'yes'?" Jim looked at him doubtfully and Blair snickered.

"Yes. Yes, I could be happy as long as I'm with you... and I like what we do- did on the job," he said, sobering all too quickly as the reality of the situation hit him once more.

"Will do again," Jim corrected softly, thumbs brushing hypnotically over his cheeks. "Trust me?"

"I can do that, too," Blair vowed, and pulled Jim's mouth back to his.

End  
22 July 04


End file.
